Out for the night #40

My friends are moving into their new place on Monday it is very exciting. They have been married for six months and they are finally able to get out on their own, they can't wait. I am so getting them their first bottle of wine for their cottage. I think they might have a house warming party too. It would be nice to have one to get everyone together to hang out for a night. That's always a good time. I am going to hang out with them tonight, we always have a good time when we are together. I think I am going to head that way now...Goodnight

........ #39

No titles today, just dots. I am not in a writing kind of mood at all right now, but I decided to write anyways. I went to work it was very, very boring. I did however get to realx and mkae pie boxes and watch t.v. there's nothing wrong with that as far as I am concerned. I also had a very stressful morning which resulted in chaos all before eight a.m. it was ridiculous. It all turned out well though and in conclusion to the situation is me buying my own damn printer. I also am smelly from being in the deli all day so I am going to go and take a shower.

School#38

Its just another day at school for me,except that today is the last day of real classes then I just have finals. I am so excited that everything for the semester is almost done. Next week will be a great relief knowing that school is over and winter break is beginning. Its going to be weird to wake up in the morning and not have to study or doing any homework. I am not sure I will know how to do that anymore. I have become so used to having to do stuff all day long. From the minute I wake up until I go to bed I am constantly running around, either at work, at home, doing errands, or homework. Finally things are going to slow down and I will be able to take some time for myself. I am so excited. I have to go to class though so I'll be back later to write some more.

Schools out! #37

School is finally almost over and my break can begin. I want it to just start now but I still have to do a five page paper, and thats not going to be very fun at all. This semester has been a very good one, I have learned a lot academicly and about myself. Next semester I am hoping will go as well as this one did. A good first semester is always a nice achievment to have under your belt. I am taking math next semester that should be interesting. It is the one subject I can't stand, well acutally I just lied because I can't stand science either...and history is kind of confusing too, I can't remember all of it. Anways back to math, I think I am going to get a tutor and hopefully that will be helpful for me to really understand the information being taught. I can't wait for grades to come out either I am really hoping that I have A's and B's, that's what it has been for the past few weeks so hopefully it stays that way.

As for now I should sleep so I can study in the morning.

America is crazy... #36

I am very frustrated with our country. I think it is absolutly ridiculous that we are giving these car makers a bailout. They knew what the economy was doing they knew the country was in a very bad place, everyone is in a bad palce. Its not fair that these massive already rich companies are getting all the help. What about all of the people that can't afford to buy food, or are loosing their homes and are having to live on the streets. It doesnt make sence to me at all. I know these companies are important but fifteen billion dollars? That seems a little bit extreme to me. I am hopeful for our country so I hope that this fifteen billion dollars really makes a difference, and maybe they will stop flying around in private jets and save some money on fuel.

I am dont ranting now.

My writing #35

So as I was going through some old files on my computer I found some old poetry that I wrote. I feel really greatful for the place that I am at now. In the things I had written I can still feel that way I felt when I was writing it, and most of the time I was letting out really painful feelings. I am so happy that I am in a better place and that my life is where it is.

I can’t forget the day you left
I can’t forget about you
Like you forgot about me
I watched you drive away
And I stood in the snow for hours
Hoping you’d turn around and come back
I never really thought you’d leave for good
I never really thought It’d hurt this bad….
I never thought about how it’d be when you were gone
How everyday seems like a waste
And I can’t help but break down and cry
My heart beats so fast sometimes
That I can’t even breathe
I would do anything to get you back here with me

Another night in the dunes #34

I am going to hang out with my friend Eva and her husband Pete. I am really looking forward to it because they just found out today that they got a cottage to live in. They are so excited and I am so excited for them. I am already thinking about things that I can get them for their new place, and a great way to have a house warming party. It's so great, they are two of the most sweetest and greatest people ever. I love those two. I am actually going to go and see them right now...I'll be back later, maybe with a funny story or two.

Guns #33

On Saturday I am going to take a class so that I can get my F.I.D card, and be able to apply to get my license to carry, I am so exicted. I know the class will probably be really boring since it is an eight hour class but when I'm done its gunna be awesome. I will be able to buy a gun and learn how to shoot better. It'll also be a good way for me and my dad to spend some time together. He is a cop so I don't really relate to him in any ways, his work in a way has consumed most of his life. If i have a gun he can teach me how to shoot and we will have a hobby in common. I think it will be a really good thing. I am totally excited!

Watch out Boston here I come #32

I am on my way to Boston this weekend, it will hopefully be a great time. Me ad a few of my friends are going to go dancing near Fenway. Its going be to be sooo much fun, I can't wait. It'll be nice to go up there and be stress free and just hang out and dance which is one of my favorite things to do.

On the other hand it could always end up in a big drama fest, because whenever I go up there on of my friends has always got drama surround her. I am really hoping that it is a laid back night and I dont have to put up with any lameness(my new word).

So lets hope that everything goes smoothly and its a great time.

Soldier #31

My best friend has been in love with a boy for years. They have gone back and forth since they were in seventh grade. Most people beleive that you dont know what love is when you are that young, but these two love the hell out of eachother and have forever. Six months ago he was sent over to Iraq. The enitre time that he has been there they have been emailing eachother since being on the phone isn't an easy option. They kind of started this strange relationship backwards since they couldn't be around eachother. Well he is finally home from Iraq and it is amazing. I normally hate the guys my friends pick out because they date these guys that are such jerks. But this boy he is totally different, and I like it. My friend has been through so much in the past few years and to finally see her, in love and truly happy is wonderful. Out of all the people I know she deserves it the most, and I can't wait to see how things work out for them in the next few weeks.



Now that I am done gushing about how great my friend and her lover are I am going to go get ready for work...

A change #30

Life is yet again changing... and I am okay with it. I feel like I am back to the old Morgan, the one who is a free spirit and just wants to have fun. I have decided to forget about some of the old drama I have had going on in my life, it's the right to time to just let go. I am over being in love,I am over drama, and things that just arent important. I am going to focus on me and what I want for a while, and I think it is totally okay. I think that every once in a while people needto take time out for themselves. The more time I have taken to just be me and do what I want, I have found the happier I am. I am content being on my own, and I am content with my life. Its a great feeling especially since the holidays are here.

Bring on the new year because I am ready for it!

My friends #29

I have some of the greatest friends in the entire world, but sometimes they are the greatest pain in my butt. I swear that sometimes people just don't think before they say or do things, or maybe they just are numb sometimes.

My friends have been so ridiculous lately. I really truly think that they just have no comprehension of what the world is really like and the sacrifices that come along with decisions you make. I understand that if I choose to do something it may be that along the way I can't do something because of what I have already chosen to do. For instance, if you owe rent in a week and you don't have any money you probably shouldn't go out and buy things that aren't necesities. You also shouldn't decline extra shifts at your job if you have no money.

I also have annoyed because we all threw a massive party for two of our friends birthday. The party was supposed to be a great time we had spent a lot of time and money putting everything together and what happens...the party sucks, not even sucked it royally sucked. Girls are just such drama queens sometimes I just would like to completely avoid drama. I know that sometimes it is un avoidable but AHHHH I just hate it, no matter what kind of drama it is.

I am done ranting and raving now I feel much better now that I have vented out all of my anger and tension. On that note I am going to go and try to do some homework so I can pass my class!

..... #28

It's been a while since I have written anything. The past few weeks seem like they have just disappeared. Time always goes by so quickly this time of year. Thanksgiving was alright, I mess just like every holiday with the family, a good mess though. I am getting ready to finish up my christmas shopping which I am excited about. I love sitting and wrapping all of my presents it's so much fun. Christmas is by far my favorite holiday besides my birthday. I consider my birthday a holiday because its my holiday. I have a christmas party for my job this weekend, it should be a great time with lots of great food.

I could write an entire book about my feelings about my friends right now but I will save that for another journal entry...

I am totally scattered in my writing today, I guess it is just one of those off days, Oh well...

Today is changing, and so is tomorrow...#27

The life I live is so confusing sometimes. Sometimes you feel totally okay with the way your life is, and then sometime you feel like you got robbed almost. Thats how I feel right now. I am very grateful for the life I have and I love my life. On the other hand my life could have been a lot different, I could have been planning a wedding right now. I feel as if everything that has happened in the past two years has just been crazy, almost a blur of turmoil and happiness and crazy moments that are burned into my memory forever. When so much happens in such a short amount of time when it is all finally over with, when the time comes for you to sit and think about what the hell just happened to you, it's not always easy. I just keep realizing new things everyday and I love it, but it also makes me feel like I have no security because things are changing so fast.

This life I live is great, and the next few months are going to be some of the best of my life, and it should be really interesting to see where I end up.

Too scared to admit it #26

So are you scared yet?
Lets be honest here

You can't hide from this forever
Everything we had wasn’t torn away from us
We pushed it away, slowly, a little more everyday

Until there was almost nothing left
Until we finally snapped
Maybe me a little more than you or maybe you a little more than me
But it still happened

It is still real
Look where we are at now…
We run around in cirlces

Praying for an answer

Praying for a change

But one person can only take so much
I think I’ve taken as much as I can take
And I think deep down so have you
You’re just too scared to admit it

It's just another in the neighborhood #25

Today was just another day in the neighborhood... (Thanks Mr. Rogers!)

This morning I woke up with my frieds and we went and played on the new playgroud in Truro. It was really great, except all the little kids were staring at us, like we were crazy, along with their parents. One little kid looked over and said "Hey you were my counselor at Recreation!!!". It was so great! We ran around for a while and decided we had enough. It was a good way to start the day. I went to work and wrote some of my enlgish paper, it's been a productive day so far, we'll see how the night goes.

In my head # 24

There is so much going on in my head today. I have so much work to do and so much else is going on in my life. There is not enough time in one day for my to get through all of the things I need to process. I can't wait to get through Thursday and finish all of my school work. I have so much to get done it is just weighing on my mind, once it's all done I can't wait.

I also have a ton going on with my life. I am still in love with my ex and I can't do anything about it. He is still in love with me yet we can't be together. Its the same thing over and over. I hate it and I wish it would stop.

Those two things alone stress me out until there is no tomorrow.

I am stressed, and I am going to continue to be stressed.

Exactly how I feel #23

" Note to self - I miss you terribly,This is what we call a tragedy."

" Love, I get so lost, sometimes. Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart. When I want to run away, I drive off in my car, But whichever way I go, I come back to the place you are. "

Right at this moment, that is how I feel. I really do feel that I run around in circles sometimes. Love is just so complicated. It never really ever makes sence. It only leaves you with questions and complicating situations. I just feel like I want to know the answers to my questions.I would like to enjoy some sence of a piece of mind.

My ex and I have been on this ongoing battle for five and a half years. We even were engaged for a while. We get together we break up, we get back together, then we break up again. Every time it happens we just can't not talk to eachother. It's like our brains don't understand that we can not talk or hang out with out us wanting to be together. It just never works. It is a constant cycle that just wont end. I really thought it was over this time. I really didn't think we were ever going to be able to talk or hang out. Yet we do and the cylce continues and there is nothing that I can do,because I dont know what to do.

So the cycle continues, and the five and half years will turn into six and who knows from there. What a story it will be.

Big Big Firetrucks #22

Today in Provincetown, a guy flipped over a fire truck...yes I said it flipped it over. It was quite the site to see. There was stuff from the firetruck all over the place , and there were lots of people. Everyone was just standing around, staring, and thats exactly what I did. It's not everyday that you see a flipped over firetruck. Luckily the kid that was driving it and yes I said a kid because he is only 21 was okay, along with his girlfriend who was in it with him.

I wish I could find a picture to post with this, it would make my story seem much more cool. Maybe I can find one later.

I am going to eat some lunch...

My kind of title is no title at all...#21

No titles today, I don't like them sometimes.

Today I feel very accomplished, I got a lot of stuff done at work today, which is always good. This evening I have already done a lot in the 30 minutes I have been home, which is always good too. The past fe days have been pretty uneventful. I talked to my friend Jenny about our issues, that went well. We hung out alone for the first time in a very long time, and that was nice. In a nutshell it was a good time. Other than that I have been really boring for the past few days.

I am very excited about not having to get up early to go to school on Thursday. It gives me lots of extra time to do some school work. Speaking of school work, I have so much to do it's almost not fair. On the other hand though all of the cramming and bulk work is done in english which is grea.t In my other class I only have a project and test for the rest of the semester. I think the rest of the semester will go well, and I am looking forward to it.

I am going to burn a cd, do homework, and laundry. Ill get back to this later.

"Like Obama said it's time for a change..." # 20

Barrack Obama is our president!!!

I just needed to emphasize that for a moment. I am so happy that he is our President, I think he will do a great job. My generation has seen so many historic event and last night was one of them. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I really thought it was going to be a close call. I was so exstatic to see how great Obama did. State by state, Obama proved himself. For the first time in American history we have an African American President!!! Our country is just awesome right now. I can't wait to see what is going to happen next and where are country will end up in the next four years. I really hope that we are in a much better place by then.

It was amazing to know that so many young people got out there and voted. Not just that but the African American's who didn't vote last time, went out and voted this time. They realized how important it was and that they should vote, and they did. States that I thought would go to Mccain because of Obama's race didn't, and that is a great step in the right direction. Its time to focus on who he is and not what he looks like. This is monumental for our country and its going to be a great four years.

There's so much going on... #19

I feel like I should have my own soap opera. My life always has something ridiculous going on in it. I would get great ratings. I am still tired of my friends. I have started cutting people out that have done nothing but cause me problems. I don't like having bad friends or bad people in my life, they don't do anything but hold me back from life. I have found that the sooner I figure out whose the people are and the sooner I keep them at a distance, the sooner my life rid of distractions.

On the other hand me and my close friend Jenny have not been getting along at all. She lives with my best friend Lacey who lives in Boston. They are roomates and we are all friends, but me and Jenny just haven't been on good terms for months. I feel like everything in her life is just a mess. The Jenny I became friends with is not the Jenny I know now. She just has lost herself somewhere in the past few months and it's taking a big tole on our friendship. There have been so many factors to our blow outs but, it's just becoming way to much stress in my life. I am going up to Boston on Thursday to try and talk. I really don't know how I feel about it. I am really apprehensive but at the same time I don't want to be because I want to try and be open minded about the whole situation. It's all just so much to think about and so much to deal with and process. I call these situations, a big huge mess!

On a better note. Work is good, so is school. I went schooting the other day so that was awesome. I yet again had another great adrenaline rush. I also have lots of stuff to get done so thats what I am going to do. I'll have something really great for next time, hopefully a great story.

Blaaaaahhh! #18

I feel blah today. I went to Boston and things are just kinda strange. I feel like all of my friends are kind of just going along with their lives and kind of forget that I am still in the group. It's like they just neglect to tell me things, and it's getting really old really fast. They just think they forget to tell me thing's but I fee like its just old. I am tired of always being the third wheel per say. I am tired of being the one that finds out about everything 2 weeks after everyone else. I am tired of being the one that just kind of sits around while everyone else is engaged in conversation. I am kind of just tired with everyone right now. My friends make plans and just happen to forget to tell me when I am inlcuded in them. It's all just annoying. I really want to swear and use a lot of profanity right now but I don't think I am allowed to do that on here.

I think that if I withdraw more then, that will just create distance between me and all of my friends. I already have major problems with one of my friends I dont need those issues with the rest. I also feel though like if I withdraw I will be able to do my own thing and maybe I wont care as much about what they are or aren't doing. Everything just feels a little bit off....I really want a ciggarette now, I am stressed out....I am going to go run away and maybe I'll feel better about the situation when I get back from running away.

Craziness in my town #17

This week in Provincetown is Fantasia Fair. It is when familes come down to Ptown to spend the week on vacation. The only difference is that the men are dressed as woman. Most of them aren't gay they are straight and married to woman with kids, they just feel comfortable and enjoy wearing womans clothing. Fors ome people its a very strange concept to grasp, but gorwing up down here it's nothing out of the ordinary to me. I think most of the men do it because for some reason they feel insecure as a man , so they dress like a woman. They have their wives to help them buy clothes, make up and accesories. It's quite the hoorah down here. A man came in yesterday and told me how he couldn't wear heals because they hurt to much on the streets. He said to me that he never know how much work went into being a woman, then stated that his wife told him so. It was very interestin, but hell I won' hate on them or gay bash them. They do what makes them happy and if it happens to be here in Ptown then bring it on. This town is full of craziness and we might as well let it continue.

I was feeling poetic #16

These old oceans just keep on moving

The currents just won't stop

Like the time of our lives

Nothing stays the same
In this strange place

Time keeps on moving

And no moment will stay here forever

We can tread in this water

Just so we can hold on

Take a deep breathe

Just don't sink to far

You don't want to drift for to long

Don't want to loose who you are

Stay afloat

Don't let go

Hold on for as long as you can

Before the ocean moves again

These currents might tear us down

Like buildings with bombs

But before the ocean moves again

Hold on because, these currents just wont stop

What a trip... #15

I took a lovely trip to Boston this weekend. I drove up and hung out with my friends, while we waited for another friend to drive my best friends car up. Well while he was driving the car up he got pulled over...and the car got towed. So me and my friend drove 14 exits and went and got the car and him. It was quite interesting, at one point my friend just started laughing,laughing histerically on the way to get the car. There was nothing left to do everyone was stressed so we just laughed and made it a good time. We finally got around to making dinner that night at 10:30, so late dinner, late night, but a great time. Good friends always means a good time, especially with my friends, we are nuts. Finally an eventful fun trip, I was starting to wonder if we would have one of those nights where everything went wrong. WHen everything goes smoothly it's not as fun. It's the story of my life, and I love it.

I am going to go do some vocab for my psych test...I'll be back in a little while to write again, I have lots of thoughts running through my head today, so I might as well post them.

Final Fall #14

"Go ahead and close your eyes
We'll pretend this isn't real
That you're not here with me
And that you're lying about how you really feel
You've been lying this whole time
But don’t worry I wont tell
I'll pick you back up
Won’t let anyone know this is where you finally fell"

-Me

Two way street #13

I have had an ephiphany, I have decided that if my friends aren't going to realize that its a two way street in friendship I am going to keep walking and leave them on the other side. I have no more time to play around and wait for my friends to grow up. For instance a friend of mine and I had plans for a week to go to Oyster fest in Wellfleet, and hour before I am going to pick her up she calls me and tells me htat she would rather go to a lame party in Ptown and get wasted like she does all the time instead of keep the plans she had with me. It's really pathetic that drinking is more important then your friends. So in that instance I am completely ignoring her and I work with her, I know she feels uncomfortable and I plan on keeping it that way. Maybe she will learn a lesson. On the other hand another one of my friends has turned out to be one of the fakest, childish people I have ever met. She and I also work together at a different job, and she just didnt bother to show up because she had been repremanded the day before, so instead of just telling them she didn't want her job anymore, she just doesn't show up. Which in turn leaves everyone who is working that day screwed, because there was so much to get done. Its all such immature crap, and I don't have any time for that in my life, what so ever. From now on I will probably be leaving lots of people stanfing on the street while I just keep on walking. They can stay in there juvenile place and I'll go be an adult. I think it works just fine for me. Now that I have completely vented about my situation I feel a lot better. Untill next time...

Today was boring.. #12

Today was pretty boring nothing really exciting happened. I woke up went to work, took a shower and now I am writing in my blog. I'd say that today is reaaallly boring. I don't think tomorrow will be much better. Driving , school, so more driving, then homework. I think I need to find something really exciting to do in the next couple of days. I wish we had more to do down here like, go carting, or an amusement park that was close by. Or maybe a roller rink that would be awesome. I can totally see myself doing that. Althought on Friday I am going to Disco Night at the Oyster Fest with the woman I work with. It's going to be awesome. I am pretty sure that a lot of people I work with are going to get dressed up like the 70's which will be so great, lots of kodak moments. I need to go write out some vocab for my phsych class...I'll write later...

Funny Story #11

So today I am minding my own buisness, standing on commercial street like everyone else that was in Provincetown. I was smoking a ciggarette and all of a sudden the crazy woman(yes shes crazy she is always freaking out at someone) walks by with her walking stick and her bright purple hat and says..." Don't you know that there's a sidewalk? Why don't you use it? What if the rescue people come they will have to slow down for you because you're in their way, and what if the person is dying in the back?" Than she walked away, she is a nut job. I truly wonder what goes on in her brain. An older gentlemen came up to me after laughing asking me what had just happened. I told him and told him about all the other times she has yelled at me or other people in town for not being on the sidewalk. Or the time she walked around picking up ciggarette butts yelling at everyone and anyone who was smoking. I think she has gone a little postal up in her brain. I thought it was a funny story though...You've got to love P-town on a normal average day!

Adrenaline Rush #10

Today I learned how to shoot a gun. It was awesome, such a great adrenaline rush. My ex showed me how. I know I said my ex, it's very complicated we are trying to be friends because its always what we do when we break up... Way to long of a story, back to shooting. He asked me if I wanted to try and I of course said yes! I think the two guns I shot were twenty two's. One was very very small I didn't like it very much because I couldn't hold it comfortably. The second one looked like a cowboy gun almost. It had a long barrel and a larger handle so it was easy to hold. I almost hit the target with that one, it was awesome. It was just a really cool experience I can't wait to do it again. I have been waiting for the class to start so that I can get my FID card, but it's not until the winter so it stinks that I wont be able to get my own gun until then. My dad's a cop so he will be able to show me everything I need to know. It's going to be a great fun hobby, I'm very excited.

Love Stinks #9

I have decided that love totally stinks. It' great in the beginning and then eventually it ends up being awful. You feel horrible and then it's all over. Then that's it,your left with nothing.Nothing but memories and the question why?

I was engaged for six months I truly thought we were going to be together for a very long time. Then everything changed, everything turned into nothing and that's pretty much all I have left from the situation. It's not fair, life's not fair, and that stinks...So in turn love stinks.

I don't think I will be falling in love anytime soon, maybe when I'm thirty I'll change my mind.Until then, love stinks, and I want nothing to do with it. I think it's time to act twenty and have some fun.

No titles this time around #8

Your picture sits in my window
Right next to your box of stuff
It's the only thing I haven't put away
Your memory lingers around these walls
It's beginning to cut into my chest
I wish I felt nothing at all in this mess we call a catastophe
Everything is so messed up and you're not here
How do you get so far from where you began?
How does a love so close turn into this strange man
Nothing's the same and everything's lost
The only thing that is real is your picture sitting in a frame on my window
And even that's making me insane
Nothing can change the way it is
Or they way we are
This is what happens when you let it get to far
I can't remember why we started but,
I know why we end

I am so stressed...again #7

So I just wrote out about 50 note cards of words and difinitions for phsyc and I still have 107 more to go...I feel really screwed right now. I hate being overwhelemed but I am and its my fault for not doing more work over the last couple of weeks. RAAAAAAAAAH!!! Okay I feel a little bit better now that I have vented a bit.

Tonight I am hanging out with my old boss her family and my friend Cleo. They are like my 2nd family. My old boss Julie is great. We worked together for almost two years and she was awesome. She was really easy to work with and had a great personality and was a great boss. Along with that we were good friends she has a daughter that is amazing. Its so stress free when I am with them it's great. It's nice to have great people in your life. Tomorrow all of us are going to a baptism for a woman who used to work for Julie as well. It's going to a be a great time.

A lovely day in Provincetown #6

Im working right now in Provincetown, its a beautiful day outside so it's not so bad. The store is very small so It's almost like being outside it's nice. Plus my boss knows im doing homework and he's cool with it since there is two of us working. I have so many flashcards to make for my phsyc test, its nearly impossible. I have horrible study habits sometimes which makes me a little bit worried about my test but I think it will be okay.

On a less stressful note I am going to Boston on Thursday I can't wait. I get to spend time with my best friend and help her feel better about her mom having MS. Whenever shes sad I just act like an idiot and she laughs and I know it makes her feel better. Plus I can go up there and just completely decompress, when I go up there I try not to worry about anything, I leave all my worries in Truro. It's nice to have a place you can go and just totally relax. I love it! I will hopefully come back with some funny stories to post...Well for now that's all I've got...

When life is stressing you out... #5

Today I am very stressed. I have so much going on that I almost don't even know where to begin. It seems as if when one thing happens everything happens and all of a sudden your slapped in the face with all sorts of everything. Right now that is how my life is going. School is taking up almost all of my time which would be alright if I didn't have anything else to do. I wish I had no responsibilty and could just focus on school all the time, but since that isn't going to happen I am stressed. I'm still trying to find my balance of work,school work and my life. It's a little tricky since I have been out of school for two years and I hated high school and trying to find a balance then was nearly impossible. I think I am slowly getting the hang of it though which is good.

On another note one of my best friends mother's was just diagnosed with MS. Its an awful disease and the everyones worried. My best friend and I are like sisters we are apart of eachothers families and its always been that way. Whenever the other needs something we are there regardless of what is going on, if we need the other its done. So right now its just a waiting game of how progressed the disease is and what her mom needs to do to try and control it. Until then no one really knows what to do. Im hoping next week the results will be back and the family can all be together. I think that would be good for everything.

I dont have any more energy right now, but I need to go do some more english homework.

No More Ranting For The Day #4

Well now that I have expressed how I feel about Dr. Phil, let's think about something better than that. My best friend is comming home from Boston for the night and the day tomorrow. It'll be nice to hang out and do something fun. I'm going to Boston to see her again on Thursday, I can't wait! It's so nice to get out off the cape and go to the city. It's like two completely different worlds, which I like. I can go up there and no one knows who I am and I almost have a seperate life it's a lot of fun. On top of that I can go get awesome pastrys from little Italy in the north end. Now what can be better than that?

I also had school today. I have an exam in math which I'm not very exctied about. Math is so difficult, and it really doesnt have anything to do with what I want for a career. I have no idea what math has to do with x-ray technology. I guess it's just how it is, but it stinks. I hope I do well im going to try as hard as possible hopefully I'll get atleast a B. Other than that school is good. Enlgih is a good class it helps me with more than just passing the class. Phychology is great I enjoy the subject so I feel good about this semester so far.

As for now that's all I have to talk about.

Dr.Phil #3

I am sitting with my mother right now watching Dr. Phil. I've watched a few episodes before and I think I need to start my own show. Everything he talks about I talk about with my friends half the time. I want to have my own show and sit there and help peoples problems and make millions. I dont need a degree for that. He literally talks about some of the most ridiculous things that are so easy to figure out. I just dont understand. So I think that I should have my own show, I think I'd do a great job, and it would be fun.

Sorry to anyone whose a Dr. Phil supporter I didn't mean to ruin your day.

Long Time No Talk... # 2

So I have neglected by blog for a week or so, that's not very good. I supposed I do have a lot of things that I could be writing about and just haven't. I knew that I wasn't very good at making a blog or having a journal.

Anways on with it here, I have had an epiphany over the past few days. I've come to realize that being twenty is a crazy time in ones life. Everything is changing so much and so fast. I keep trying to make plans for the future and figure out what I want to be doing but everything won't stop changing. I just would like to figure it out a little bit and I just can't. I guess for now I can just go with it.

My best friends all went back to school and two of them just moved in to Boston. I miss them and they want to come home now because they are homesick. I wish they would come home but I know that I have to convince them to stay. Boston is a really great place they have opportunities up there that just arent down here on the cape. I hope that they have a change of heart and soon because otherwish I 'll be packing them back up again, and packing and moving the first time was hard enough. I wish I could just move to Boston that would really be great, but then again they don't have a nice community college like four c's that I want to be going to.

Well... that;s all I feel like ranting about for now.

The Beginning - 1

This is my blog, I've never had a blog before. It should be interesting, I've always been really bad at writing in a journal, I think that's why I have never had one. So yeah I went to work today it was long, most of the people were pleasent for the first time in a while. Its nice that all of the tourists are mostly gone. I am sick of all of them, they can't drive and they are rude( I still have augustitis). I have homework that I should be doing but Im so tired that writing was the only thing I had patience to do. Getting used to going to school has been quite the experience, trying to sit down and do homework again was almost unbearable, but it was not as bad as high school. I actually think im beginning to enjoy learning again, probably because I want to and in high school I didn't have a choice. A blog is good homework though, I can sit here and say whatever I feel like, theres nothing wrong with that.